I bet Emily Post or Dear Prudence haven’t been asked yet.
First, let’s go into the reason for this question. Last night, I made the acquaintance of a group of people. To protect the innocent (or guilty), no names will be mentioned. One of the group was a woman in her 30’s who invited along a gentleman she met on a “sugar daddy” dating site. This was their first face-to-face meeting and she told us she felt better about it happening during a group outing.
The gentleman, a widower in his mid-50’s and relatively new to the dating scene (or so he said), was very cordial and charming. He conversed with everyone (all women) and purchased 2 rounds of drinks for the group. We all were having a good time talking and getting to know each other when he mentioned that he had to leave; he and his “date” excused themselves to converse privately for a few minutes.
Upon her return, she flashed a wad of money and announced that he had given her 500 dollars to buy drinks and whatever else she and the group wanted for the remainder of the evening. She then informed us that she was going to use the money to get her hair done instead. She didn’t offer to buy any more rounds nor the nachos that another member of the group and I shared. No one questioned her on it… maybe they, like me, were shocked by her bold admission that she regularly gets men to pay her way without engaging in any kind of relationship (including sexual).
Now, here’s where the etiquette comes in. Considering they met on a “sugar daddy” site, does that give her carte blanche on how the money’s spent? Should she not say anything to him about it (if he doesn’t ask, that is)? Or should she offer to return the money since he specifically mentioned spending it on whatever she and the rest of the group had for the evening? I have no intention of telling her what to do… she’s a grown woman and her conscience is her own. However, I’ve never been witness to this kind of situation and it’s hard to wrap my head around it. So, dear reader, what do you make of it?