Here’s an etiquette question…

I bet Emily Post or Dear Prudence haven’t been asked yet.

First, let’s go into the reason for this question.  Last night, I made the acquaintance of a group of people.  To protect the innocent (or guilty), no names will be mentioned.  One of the group was a woman in her 30’s who invited along a gentleman she met on a “sugar daddy” dating site.  This was their first face-to-face meeting and she told us she felt better about it happening during a group outing. 

The gentleman, a widower in his mid-50’s and relatively new to the dating scene (or so he said), was very cordial and charming.  He conversed with everyone (all women) and purchased 2 rounds of drinks for the group.  We all were having a good time talking and getting to know each other when he mentioned that he had to leave; he and his “date” excused themselves to converse privately for a few minutes. 

Upon her return, she flashed a wad of money and announced that he had given her 500 dollars to buy drinks and whatever else she and the group wanted for the remainder of the evening.  She then informed us that she was going to use the money to get her hair done instead.  She didn’t offer to buy any more rounds nor the nachos that another member of the group and I shared.  No one questioned her on it… maybe they, like me, were shocked by her bold admission that she regularly gets men to pay her way without engaging in any kind of relationship (including sexual).  

Now, here’s where the etiquette comes in.  Considering they met on a “sugar daddy” site, does that give her carte blanche on how the money’s spent?  Should she not say anything to him about it (if he doesn’t ask, that is)?  Or should she offer to return the money since he specifically mentioned spending it on whatever she and the rest of the group had for the evening?  I have no intention of telling her what to do… she’s a grown woman and her conscience is her own.  However, I’ve never been witness to this kind of situation and it’s hard to wrap my head around it.  So, dear reader, what do you make of it?


About EmilyD

Now in my 50's and still a work in progress. Proud, happy mom of 2 wonderful kids who are married to equally wonderful people. Patiently waiting on grandchildren to spoil. In love with, and happily engaged to, my best friend and looking forward to the rest of the journey on this planet by his side.
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1 Response to Here’s an etiquette question…

  1. Raivenne says:

    I’m totally not surprised by a woman openly admitting to having found a sugar daddy via a website. I don’t find it surprising that she was given the money and that she bragged about it. I don’t even find it surprising that she chose to use the money not for its intended purpose, but entirely for her own interests. Then again, so few things about people, the things they do, what makes them tick shock me anymore.

    However, I do find it all of the above distasteful and lacking of considerable class in how it was handled. Yes, the Queen of I-Don’t-Give-A-Flying-Leap-About-Impropriety said that. If I want to tell my friends about my sugar daddy in private, fine, that is what friends are for. But absolutely, not in front of relative strangers. If the money was given to me for a specific purpose, then I would have used it for that purpose. If, IF there was anything left over, then fine, I’ll do some things for me with it, but I would have used it as intended. If I had no intention at all of using the money for said purpose, I most certainly would not brag about my Sugar Daddy’s generosity in front of the people who will not get to benefit from that generosity. That’s pouring salt on an unnecessarily opened wound. Unless he outright asks, I doubt that she will tell him how them money was truly spent. In fact, even if he asks, I wouldn’t be surprised if she skirts the truth or blatantly lies.

    Yes, her Sugar Daddy was generous to her, but she herself was inconsiderate and selfish to everyone else at the table. That whole scenario was all about her.

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